


For his own good

by ChloShow



Category: Better Call Saul (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 08:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6509674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloShow/pseuds/ChloShow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howard reflects on Jimmy's professional setbacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For his own good

By all accounts, Howard should’ve felt awful. Not awful. Partners didn’t get to feel awful about halting other employees’ careers. He should’ve felt detached, neutral, inconvenienced even. Instead, he felt actively enthusiastic while informing Jimmy that HHM would not accept him to work at the firm.

Chuck had painted Jimmy’s criminal past in broad strokes when they first hired him to work in the mail room, but Chuck spared no details once Jimmy revealed he wanted to work alongside him in the same field. Howard agreed with Chuck’s decision to keep out of the “riffraff,” but that wasn’t the whole reason he voted to keep Jimmy from advancing his career at HHM.

Déjà vu tinted the edges of the dilemma. While introspection was not his strong suit, he felt as if he were gazing into an inverted window to the past. His father gave him no choice but to work for HHM. Of course he rebelled against his him in small ways during college and law school, but “ _This is the real world, Howard. You can’t be taking up cases for the Little Guy pro bono and make a living_.”

Jimmy wanted to follow in Chuck’s footsteps, not realizing what that truly meant for his future: trimming himself down until he fit HHM’s standards. Telling him “No” would benefit him in the long run. Howard didn’t expect a thank you in any form, but in a few years, Jimmy might be thankful that everything worked out the way it did.

Walking out of the mailroom, Howard felt lighthearted as if he’d just liberated his younger self from a lifetime of restriction.

***

Telling Jimmy “No” a second time drew blood from both parties. Four years had passed, and Jimmy still sought professional validation from his brother, which might’ve seemed pathetic if it wasn’t so relatable.

‘ _Why didn’t he get it?’_

Jimmy wasn’t stupid. He could read people better than most, but that skill seemed to be limited to clients. When it came to Chuck, he was incapable of accepting that his brother might not be the second coming of Christ.

He couldn’t tell him the truth directly for obvious reasons, but taking the flack for Chuck’s reservations had started to taste bitter. Confronting Chuck was out of the question, and he had no way to punish Jimmy ethically for calling him a “pigfucker.”

So when Kim walked into his office to vouch for Jimmy, Howard may have overreacted. She was an easy target for his aggression, which wasn’t fair. Memories of his father displacing his frustration by yelling at him as a child or fighting with mom flooded back, and he decided to tell Kim the truth. He could take over his father’s position at HHM, but he certainly wasn’t going to turn into him.

When Jimmy entered his office to take the Sandpiper deal, Howard figured Kim had taken mercy on Jimmy and let him in on the secret. Hearing that Jimmy had figured it out himself took Howard by surprise especially after Jimmy revealed he’d been running Chuck’s exhaustive errands for a year and a half. A part of him expected Chuck was relieved Jimmy had less time in the day to stick his nose in the sacred confines of the law.

Jimmy looked defeated, and all Howard could hope was that he followed his heart his time around.


End file.
